Christmas 2011 - New Years 2012

Around this time of year I like to include as many buzzwords as possible to increase our readership....to entice people to read the blog under false pretences......for example somebody googles Christmas (buzzword number 1) and lo and behold our blog might turn up on the 16th page of the google search.

This person thinking that they are going to read about Christmas gets drawn in and instead gets to read about Daly (and indeed her own blog about Christmas and the cruel disregard of the Christmas one-eyed angel....I mean have parents not seen Toy Story?!THEY COME TO LIFE PEOPLE!)

Once folks have been enraptured by tales of Daly they are further thrown into a bottomless pit of literary genius as composed by myself and my compadre reflections. (Watch the bookshelves in 2012 for our long awaited erotic novella).

Christmas this year in the musings household was relatively peaceful. There was the obligatory show down with the mother three days before Christmas but the day itself was filled with a beautiful alcohol induced sense of well being. Also things were made easier this year by not being housebound by snow and escaping at every available opportunity.

What I was most thankful for was the fact that I have a tv in my room at the homestead. I'm all about the family time but I draw the line at having to watch fair city or another episode of only fools and horses that we have ALREADY WATCHED 20 TIMES.........!I managed to get in my quota of Christmas films like all four Indiana Jones, all three Back to the Futures, about four Harry Potters, two Bourne films and the same scene in the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe three times (the one where they meet Liam Neeson).

New years eve (buzzword number 2) was uneventful. Unlike last years with the whole almost dying in a house fire. Not sure which was worst, the almost dying of smoke inhalation(which in fairness I slept through) or almost dying of boredom at the yawnest party ever (which I actually had to endure).

And so that brings us to 2012 (buzzword 3). 2012.......wow. I figure there is no point in making resolutions (buzzword 4). Though I do want to get back on track with my five holidays a year plan. (Also am watching the Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe for the third time, Edward was like c'mon horsey and the horse was like my name is Philip.....love that part.oooooh, Liam Neeson is about to face off against the White Witch. OMG there should be a Face Off II where Liam Neeson and the White Witch swap faces.....that would be amazeballs.....going to turn over now though caus I don't like the bit where they kill the fake Liam Neeson).

So, the new year (buzzword 5). Have to say 2011 was pretty generous to me, cept for that time in August when I almost had a meltdown caus I hadn't taken a week off work in 9mths. This is why the five holidays a year programme needs to get back on track this year!

What will the year bring?hopefully lots of health, hope, love, happiness, wealth and five holidays a year. I don't think it's too much to ask 2012.

And one last buzzword for our favourite readers...... Vodka. Which I also hope 2012 is full of!

Twas the Night Before Christmas.....

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,
not at a dish was washed because we had no water,

the stockings could not be hung on the chimney with care,
in hopes to avoid the smell of dirty stockings that would be there,

i was nestled all snug on the couch,not yet in bed,
caus it was only 7:30 and im not daly,

And kitty in her apron and i in my dressing gown,
had just settled in with a bottle of wine to drown,

when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
i couldnt be arsed to check but kitty sprung up to see what was the matter,

away to the window she flew like a flash,
we dont call her detective kitty for nothing you know,

the moon on the brest of the mother-f*cking week old snow,
gave the lustre of tippex to objects below,

when,what before my blue eyes should appear,
but a sleigh and eight horses dressed up as reindeer.............................

because we are all about having the horses outside.

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!
and now,time for wine,some sneaking present opening and ham eating!

christmas.

one way to increase blog readers at this time of year is to name one's most recent blog post "Christmas"......one is a genius.

so,i was also inspired to write this blog whilst listening to christmas FM,and thinking about how much i have to do before the big day.but slight problemo in that im broke,broke to the hole.soooo im thinking handmade presents this year,because im a dab hand with a bit of paint,lollipop sticks and double sided sticky tape (having been reared by Mary Fitzgerald.......practically.)

so present list:
Mammy Musings:a painting of myself,complete with cardboard frame made from cereal box.

Daddy Musings:a keyring made from pasta and PVA glue,complete with miniature photo of me.

Sister Musings: a recording of my various songs,including robbie williams "angels" and the recent "boob state of mind" plus a previously unheard recording of "the love hole"(to the tune of the love boat)

Max Musings(Dog):a dog biscuit robbed from the press,wrapped in a printed Christmas photo of me.

Daly: a recording of my Christmas album of religious hymns, my copy of "The Secret" (because if you imagine Christmas miracles they do come true) and a dildo made of lollipop sticks.

Reflections: a bottle of my "special secret brew"......90% proof

Moloney: a papier mache photo album of photos from our trip to Asia, made up of photos of me only.

Homies(girls from home,not homosexuals):a hug.......

The posse(nuns I live with):a downloaded copy of boogie nights and my recording of frosty the pervert.

Myself:some me time......at a hairdressers....getting my hair done......and some new clothes....and shoes.......and i need to go to the dentist....
OOOH, and a surprise.

Because nothing says i love you to friends and family like gifts involving me.......