Twas the Night Before Christmas.....

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,
not at a dish was washed because we had no water,

the stockings could not be hung on the chimney with care,
in hopes to avoid the smell of dirty stockings that would be there,

i was nestled all snug on the couch,not yet in bed,
caus it was only 7:30 and im not daly,

And kitty in her apron and i in my dressing gown,
had just settled in with a bottle of wine to drown,

when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
i couldnt be arsed to check but kitty sprung up to see what was the matter,

away to the window she flew like a flash,
we dont call her detective kitty for nothing you know,

the moon on the brest of the mother-f*cking week old snow,
gave the lustre of tippex to objects below,

when,what before my blue eyes should appear,
but a sleigh and eight horses dressed up as reindeer.............................

because we are all about having the horses outside.

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!
and now,time for wine,some sneaking present opening and ham eating!

It all got a bit biblical - this starts slow but gets interesting!

Well it just seems like forever since I've been on here chattering away about the goings on in my life... so here is some of what I've been doing.

Well I went home to Tipp and stayed with my aunt for her birthday and then we got snowed in and I stayed for an extra two weeks. Of course the snow was gone from everywhere but her road (and I stress her road and NO ONE elses) froze over. Yes so it was life a road of ice, and only people in tractors and 4 wheel drives were meant to drive on it, obviously once the alcohol ran out Emer and I ventured outside and drove 2 miles an hour then managed to speed along every other road that were completely fine. Also I'm not talking country road = mess and main roads = fine oooohhh no! All the other roads were fine, no ice, no snow. In saying this her neighbour totaled her car trying to go to work so it really was messy. The woman left her driveway, turned right onto road, slid back and into a ditch. She was unharmed and presumably got loads of time off work, I hope she was still paid.

Annnyyywwwhooodle two weeks of being in Emer's house watching TV, comedy, all that great Corrie stuff (by the by that did take up my evenings of one of the weeks... it was brilliant, wow I love Corrie again... I mean I hadn't seen it in forever and though I feel Sally is being a little harsh on Kevin, not that in the real world I think women should be ok with their partners having affairs with neighbours in soap world Sally has had 9 affairs... pot-kettle-black... though she never had a secret child with her best friend's spouse, so I guess I have to side with Sally on that one! Also thank ________ (insert deity here) Rita is ok...) Also well I could talk about Corrie forever cos it's pretty much the only thing spectacular in Tipp, though I had Soooooo much fun with Emer. It was lovely being woken up in the mornings by Maxi (her dog) tottering in to see me then tottering out, having lots of tea and drinking a bottle of wine a night with Emer chatting about life etc. That's a bottle each, obviously, we're cut from the same cloth on that one!

Anyway the time came when i really was missing my darling Musings and the road was thawing out and I decided to venture back to Dublinia with the mater. So we drove back listening to Christmas music and in a really deep fog, all the way from Carlow so that added more time, that I can't honestly say I felt, because of my great love for crimbo songs. Then we came home I grabbed bags etc. went into the house and thought why does it sound like it's raining... looked to the right (living room door) that had a new water feature I hadn't previously noticed. The floor in there was saturated, it had a layer of water, quite like a pond in the middle of the room but wet through the whole room. The skirting board or whatever they're called when they're between the ceiling and the wall were, well on the floor and couch that was up against the wall. The wall... ahh that had water running all down it, like in torrents and the lampshade seemed to be taking the biggest brunt of the force as it had turned into it's very own waterfall.

Mum and I stared in disbelief and then ran to our neighbour, Ray the Amazing (and that Daly is NOT an unneeded capital letter) he was sooooo brilliant he turned off our water, yes i know you're all thinking you mean you are a useless girl that couldn't turn off the mains under your sink??? Alas dodgy builders, who stole from us and did a fairly dodgy version of house renovation, in general... nails? they didn't seem to need them, not when they could get their hands on some glue, most likely prit stick (yep I could have gone somewhere else with that but "dignity, always dignity")So there was no mains tap under our sink and then we moved the dishwasher and nope not there so Ray went up to the attic and couldn't do it from there and then he went outside to the one on the street and got down and turned it off there which was an awful job cos it took ages to work out which size connection thingy (ok so I'm a bit girly) went on and he had to do all of this without bending his knees cos he had an operation on them recently. Saviour. Water stopped pumping. Then he went and got us a suction pump thing and we tried getting the water up and he drove across town to his son-in-law for a spare pipe and he cut the 2 burst pipes and fixed them.

I forgot to mention the 2 bedrooms. Yup, my sister's bedroom, and mine. My sttuuuuffff! Oh crap well the stuff in general was ok, though the beds (it used to be a shared room but even though all children are long since out of the house and each have their own abode (3 out of five in a different country) except for yours truly the bed numbers remained for return visits and admittedly the family is growing rather then reducing, as is normal with families particularly the Irish) were soaked and on that bed was darling Tommy the teddy, amazingly dry, still haven't figured out how, and my prize cushion of beautiful pictures of the lovely Reflections, Moloney and Daly and others in our Uni days up to this and that, well it's drying in front of a radiator now. Well anyway, the water seemed to LOVE my clothes, as in all of my clothes, bags, shoes and coats, yup amazingly fabulous coats, yes some of them are childrens but they still fit damn it and it's fecking Ted Baker, oh heart break. Anyway, I'm sure they'll wash ok, though my clothes aren't bought for function and definitely none of those coats had seen water previously and I'm not sure they were a fan, but I'll find that out soon enough.

So that night we headed over to my sista (the one in the Republic) & stayed there. It was a Saturday, so no plumbers or insurance company was available also we didn't need a plumber because of Ray the Amazing. Well we stayed with Geri and on Saturday there was a bit of tidy up but we also watched a film and relaxed, and then on Monday the insurance person came over. She was lovely and just took everything down and was like we'll send in our peeps unless you have some you'd prefer and yada yada yada, don't worry! (FBD in case you're wondering.) So we started packing up things though we have to make a list of them and then we heard this crashing kerplunk type sound and thought what the hell was that?? It was the ceiling of our living room meeting the floor.

So then we decided to stop focusing on Adrienne's room and empty the living room... 30 minutes or so later with no sound of a warning (you see I thought there's be a creaking or something) another chunk of the ceiling fell, just where dad and I had been standing, as in I saw his camera walked over to it (3 steps away) and crash. This brought with it the light which smashed exactly where I had just been standing... scary.

Well as you can imagine its all a bit of a mess. We've emptied the rooms into other rooms and I'm staying with Geri, and today I'm packing living room into plastic boxes and other exciting things...

As Dolly always says: If you want the rainbows you gotta put up with the rain - I didn't know she was being literal

christmas.

one way to increase blog readers at this time of year is to name one's most recent blog post "Christmas"......one is a genius.

so,i was also inspired to write this blog whilst listening to christmas FM,and thinking about how much i have to do before the big day.but slight problemo in that im broke,broke to the hole.soooo im thinking handmade presents this year,because im a dab hand with a bit of paint,lollipop sticks and double sided sticky tape (having been reared by Mary Fitzgerald.......practically.)

so present list:
Mammy Musings:a painting of myself,complete with cardboard frame made from cereal box.

Daddy Musings:a keyring made from pasta and PVA glue,complete with miniature photo of me.

Sister Musings: a recording of my various songs,including robbie williams "angels" and the recent "boob state of mind" plus a previously unheard recording of "the love hole"(to the tune of the love boat)

Max Musings(Dog):a dog biscuit robbed from the press,wrapped in a printed Christmas photo of me.

Daly: a recording of my Christmas album of religious hymns, my copy of "The Secret" (because if you imagine Christmas miracles they do come true) and a dildo made of lollipop sticks.

Reflections: a bottle of my "special secret brew"......90% proof

Moloney: a papier mache photo album of photos from our trip to Asia, made up of photos of me only.

Homies(girls from home,not homosexuals):a hug.......

The posse(nuns I live with):a downloaded copy of boogie nights and my recording of frosty the pervert.

Myself:some me time......at a hairdressers....getting my hair done......and some new clothes....and shoes.......and i need to go to the dentist....
OOOH, and a surprise.

Because nothing says i love you to friends and family like gifts involving me.......