Twas the Night Before Christmas.....

Twas the night before christmas and all through the house,
not at a dish was washed because we had no water,

the stockings could not be hung on the chimney with care,
in hopes to avoid the smell of dirty stockings that would be there,

i was nestled all snug on the couch,not yet in bed,
caus it was only 7:30 and im not daly,

And kitty in her apron and i in my dressing gown,
had just settled in with a bottle of wine to drown,

when out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
i couldnt be arsed to check but kitty sprung up to see what was the matter,

away to the window she flew like a flash,
we dont call her detective kitty for nothing you know,

the moon on the brest of the mother-f*cking week old snow,
gave the lustre of tippex to objects below,

when,what before my blue eyes should appear,
but a sleigh and eight horses dressed up as reindeer.............................

because we are all about having the horses outside.

Happy Christmas to all and to all a good night!
and now,time for wine,some sneaking present opening and ham eating!

christmas.

one way to increase blog readers at this time of year is to name one's most recent blog post "Christmas"......one is a genius.

so,i was also inspired to write this blog whilst listening to christmas FM,and thinking about how much i have to do before the big day.but slight problemo in that im broke,broke to the hole.soooo im thinking handmade presents this year,because im a dab hand with a bit of paint,lollipop sticks and double sided sticky tape (having been reared by Mary Fitzgerald.......practically.)

so present list:
Mammy Musings:a painting of myself,complete with cardboard frame made from cereal box.

Daddy Musings:a keyring made from pasta and PVA glue,complete with miniature photo of me.

Sister Musings: a recording of my various songs,including robbie williams "angels" and the recent "boob state of mind" plus a previously unheard recording of "the love hole"(to the tune of the love boat)

Max Musings(Dog):a dog biscuit robbed from the press,wrapped in a printed Christmas photo of me.

Daly: a recording of my Christmas album of religious hymns, my copy of "The Secret" (because if you imagine Christmas miracles they do come true) and a dildo made of lollipop sticks.

Reflections: a bottle of my "special secret brew"......90% proof

Moloney: a papier mache photo album of photos from our trip to Asia, made up of photos of me only.

Homies(girls from home,not homosexuals):a hug.......

The posse(nuns I live with):a downloaded copy of boogie nights and my recording of frosty the pervert.

Myself:some me time......at a hairdressers....getting my hair done......and some new clothes....and shoes.......and i need to go to the dentist....
OOOH, and a surprise.

Because nothing says i love you to friends and family like gifts involving me.......